(36) What I learned about a good old hug

It’s another Grandma story:

I went to visit my grandmother some years back to introduce her to my new husband. I didn’t get up to see her often, we spoke nearly every week on the phone, but I thought it was worth a visit to show them both the new members of their families (each other!). As my grandma came out of her house I rushed over and gave her a huge hug and she said how lovely it was to have a hug as, when you get older, people don’t hug you as much anymore.

I’m not sure if that’s true, but it must have been my grandmother’s experience so it set me thinking about touch and the importance of physically connecting with people. As babies we do not do well without touch. We may physically live, but experiments have show we do not thrive if we are not held as infants. As we get older it’s easy to see how much enjoyment small children get from each other physically, my young daughter positively hangs off her young friends in the playground. But the habit of reaching out to touch people (appropriately!) seems to diminish as we mature. Hugs and kisses are left only for children and brief greetings with friends and family.

I’ve always been far too tactile for most people’s comfort and I must admit I’m even more so now that I understand the restorative powers of a good hug. The continental ways us Brits seem to have adopted when it comes to greetings – a kiss on the cheek, even one both sides – has brought us a bit further out of our reserve but I must say nothing beats a proper clinch. And I don’t care if people are a bit shocked by it. It’s something that gets easier with practise so I recommend adopting the persona of someone that hugs. Because it’s nice when people begin to hug back . . .