(31) What I learned about Home

As a child I moved schools a few times, both primary and secondary, and twice to completely new parts of the country. I feel I was OK with turning up at a new place and fitting myself in. In fact I often wonder if it is why I continue to enjoy change, because I experienced a fair amount as a child.

When, as an adult, I moved from the family’s settling place (Devon) to where I was starting my degree (London), I remember only the thrill of starting something new and no hesitation or trepidation at all. I think in the next six or seven years I moved over ten times and finally settled in east London with my dear friend Simon. When I married the moving bug struck again as my lovely husband and I got into property and I also learnt the fun of buying and selling without living in each place as we made money on the sale alone. When we split up I moved to somewhere temporary whilst we found the house I have now happily resided in for over three years. More to the point – I don’t see myself moving for some time to come. Not in the least because my daughter is now at school (though I remember moving primary schools with no ill effect), but mostly because I really enjoy the place I live and, for the first time in my adult life I have allowed myself to put down roots and feel this place is home.

Why have I settled happily here, in a small town on the edge of London? Maybe because it’s far enough from London to be considered rural, yet I can jump on a train and be in town in 15 minutes. Perhaps it’s because there’s a number of people here ‘like me’: mothers of young children, self employed creatives, cafe culture hogs. Maybe because life is reminiscent of where I was brought up in Devon and I enjoy the similar mix of community?

Or maybe, just maybe, I am finally at peace with myself, am no longer striving to discover something, or find a missing piece, or needing to demonstrate anything. Maybe I have finally realised that home is not a place, a physical building. It’s a state of mind. I could probably live in any number of different places if I so chose. Having grown up overlooking the Atlantic Ocean I would love to be closer to the sea someday, but I now know that I shall only move when the desire or need dictates as I have all I need here and now. More importantly, as and when I do move again, I shall be taking ‘me’ with me so I know the next place will instantly be home too.